The irony of feeling like you don’t belong yet knowing we are all the same..
I’ve moved a lot.
Every year since I was 18 actually.
Why? What I was looking for? That I don’t know.
To ‘fit in’? To find ‘home’? To have fun and find more of me..? Or myself?
Only to discover we are all in fact the same.
I’ve lived interstate multiple times over the last 24 years. I’ve never gone back to where I ‘came from’.
Not for any good reason like running away, I think perhaps a fear of commitment and always being ‘on the search’ played a part..
But at the time it was literally just the narrative of;
I’m free, so why not?
Always in each place looking for a group of humans I belonged to, finding the weirdo’s like me, and maybe deep down looking for a part of the earth that ‘felt’ like home.
Turns out all that needed to happen was for me to stop looking,
or turn 40,
I’m not sure what caused it, but either way..
The calmness that’s now ensued means I always feel at home.
A more frequent calm.
More certainty and clarity.
And at the same time, more vulnerability.
In fact I know I belong everywhere with everyone all the same time,
and in fact I am everything and I always belong where I am.
At the same time as never really ‘fitting in or being normal’ still.. < fuk really!?
How mundane and flavourless. (Says the old me.)
But now I ‘get’ that not everyone has, wants or needs to be ‘super spicy’.
We all have different taste buds at the same time as all having the
EXACT SAME BLOOD & OXYGEN THAT COURSES THROUGH OUR VEINS.
We have so. many. similarities.
We are all part of the same narrative but at the same time we wrote and continue to write the script.
We cause the literal expansion or contraction of our world’s all with the same amount of power if we allow it to flow through us.
Science and spirit are one in reality, even though we give more credit to the intellect as a narrative these days.
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Talk soon, fellow searcher…